I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him. It was losing me.

I think, I think when it's all over,
It just comes back in flashes, you know?
It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.
It just all comes back. But he never does.
I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen.
It's not really anything he said, or anything he did,
It was, the feeling that came along with it.
And, the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again.
But I don't know if I should.
I knew his world moved too fast, and burned too bright.
But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you?
Maybe he knew that when he saw me.
I guess I just lost my balance.
I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him.
It was losing me.

By: Taylor Swift

You know, now a day I can say I'm a very grateful kid. I have passed through a lot, being constantly hurt by people that call their selves "cool" or some other stupid word that doesn't define what they truly are. Even though i've been betrayed by some, I believe in better days, I'm now stronger. You know what most of people say: "its not about what they've done to you, its about what you do about it". Well, this is for all that have been hurt.  This is not a new story to tell, this are words for you, wherever you are and whoever you are. To open your eyes and see that everything that come to us have a different purpose,  to make us stronger and bigger as a person or to make us happier. Not all the people who come to our life are the ones we expected. Please, we are all different, not everybody wants to see you sad or even happy. We got to accept the fact that some time in our life we are going to met somebody that is going to hurt every single part of us, and I think that's normal cause then we have two choices to make, letting them hurt us or letting us take that chance to see things in a different way. To make a change in us, to make us a better human. Maybe that's why that type of things come to us sometimes, we got to make that choice. In my case, I didn't make it. I let them hurt me and hurt every single part of my heart. It wasn't easy to glue those little parts together, I make it on my own and it take time. You know the phrase "time always heals" but sometimes it also destroys. And finally I've learn that we are strong enough to change circumstances, defend our self first. Learning how to cover us in order not to get hurt. 

Also, learning to appreciate our self and to stay strong. People come and go, but you always stay wherever you want to be. One person can change your life from better to best or from bad to worst, its your  decision how you want it to be.  From now on, I've learned from a lot of situations and it really change my way. A friend told me: "Don't let little things worry you, there is always trash in the road". I've given a lot of my time to people who doesn't deserve it at all but for me, it wasn't a waste of time, it was a time for me to see that definitely I didn't want to be part of that people, i wont be like them ever. Even though they did the wrong thing to the right girl, Im here still waiting for the people that will really worth. You may not be able to control ever situation and its outcome, but you can control you attitude and how to deal with it. Welcome, this is life. Think about it, if you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably wont lead you anywhere. So, always keep your head up and I swear to you that its going to be difficult for people to get you down..

People were created to be loved, things were created to be used. The reason the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used.

Every scar tells a story. A story that says 'I survived'

Want to go back in time when..
"Getting High" meant "On Swing"
"Drinking" meant "Apple Juice"
"Dad" was the only "Hero"
"Love" was "Moms hug"
"Highest place on earth" was "Dads Shoulder"
my "Worst enemies" were "My own siblings"
Only thing that could get "Hurt" were "Skinned knees"
The only thing "Broken" were my "Toys"
and when "Goodbyes" meant till "Tomorrow.

When I was little I thought that everything could be possible. That I was a princess, that fairies and mermaids existed. That someday I would fly and have super powers, that the wishes I made to stars come true. I thought Santa always ate the cookies I left on Christmas night. Someday I could live in a big castle. At night the toys came to life. The cartoons and characters of TV shows were little humans living inside the television. That problems could be solved with a magic wand, that having a candy was the best thing in the world.  I was thinking 9 quetzales (1 dolar) would make me rich.. The children with whom I played in the playground would be my friends forever. The stork brought the babies. That a kiss meant true love. That if I stayed with my parents nothing wrong was going to happen to me. That I would meet a prince charming and marry him. That happy endings existed and “happily ever after" was a true thing.

Now that I have 17 years I can say that none of those things exist in real life, I haven’t experienced everything, but growing up help us open our eyes and realize that things were not like everyone thought when kinds. That life is not that easy and not everything is usually so nice. The sweet prince charming, beautiful Cinderella and perfect endings disappear little by little because you realize you are not living in a fairy tale and not everything that comes to life and happens to us is like a fantasy story. Unfortunately the problems are not solved with magic wands, wishes to stars do not come true and people wouldn’t stay by your side FOREVER. Love is given to love, but nowadays it’s usually used to play..

I met this guy and for the first time I thought it could be the right one and I was sure that together we could make it. At first, it was a simple friendship but then it became something real. We got to know us within time and everything was fine until our friendship became more than that. He was friend of my friends and I became a good friend of his friends too. I started to fall in love.. He was the typical player who just wanted to have more girls. I thought that with me, he was going to be different. He promised he would change because he “really wanted to be with me”. After all, he was just a guy who pretended to mind about other people's feelings.
All he said to me, he told it to other girls too. I thought he was different and the things he said to me were true.

His name is Stephan, Stephan initially looked like he was a real gentleman, we went for coffees, and sometimes to the movies and everything seemed normal. He called me at night and left messages in the morning wishing me a good day. Everything was going well until Stephan's friends invited me to a party and I attended.

There he was, with a blue sweater and his perfect blue eyes. He approached to me and said hi. I spent some time with him and then I went with my friends. A friend called me and said I had to know some important things he knew about. He really sound like he had something shocking to tell me. Stephan was just playing with me and also with a few girls more. He didn't have those 'real' feelings I thought he had once for me.

One of these girls showed up and showed me the text messages she received from him. I got to the point when I thought he had copy and pasted the nice texts he had sent me and sent them to all the other girls. They were completely the same just with different names. And not only that, but he also called her at nights too. Coincidentially after we said bye, after hanging up.

We talked about it a while and saw Stephan leaving the party with another girl. We saw him gaving her a kiss.

Later, Stephen saw that I was still in the party and hugged me from the back and gave me a kiss on the cheek. He told me that he loved me, wanted to be with me, and wanted to make me happy. I take his hands off and left.

That day he called me 9 times and left messages every day asking what happened? saying “he loves me and he didn’t want to miss a thing”. As I said there is no perfect things in real life, if wrong things happened, it’s for learning about it and keep walking. For making us stronger day by day, and not doing the same mistake again.

Don’t worry about people in your past, there is a reason they didn’t make it to your future.

Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it..

It's awesome how a first impression can change with a few words or sentences.

It was a typical Monday, my friends were talking about this guy. I didn’t know him or know about who they were talking about. I just remember this conversation... speaking about how jerk this guy was. He could be cool or whatever, but he wasn’t that quite good person. He is friendly, but his intentions weren’t good enough toward the girls. He is the type of guy that wants to make every girl fall for him with no intentions of catching them back again, that was what they were all saying.

I don’t remember when was the time I first saw him, not even where, or how. What I can say is that the moment I saw him for the first time, it crossed inside my mind that he was going to be just like this girls spoke about of him... the kind of guy who just didn’t care about what was happening around him, didn’t care about other people's feelings, and a totally player guy. With that cocky ego that made him believe that it was no need of meeting new people. I was with some friends and I asked them if that guy was the guy they were talking about days before, and they said yes. As I already told, I didn’t know him, neither his name. He was a total stranger to me, and after all I heard, I lost the interest of meeting him. Days went by, and I was hanging out. I saw him by the second time, he was with a friend of mine and this friend named Jose, waved his hand at me like saying "hello." I headed to where he was and I said "hi." This guy went near me and Jose presented us and said our names out loud. His name was Gabriel. He's tall guy, white skinned, with light-brown eyes and hair as the color of honey. He was wearing a little, sweet smile and it seemed like he had the perfect smell. At this time, my impression hadn't changed and it was just the same as my friends had about him. It change completely after a while. We started talking more and more with each other and I started to know him better within time. He wasn’t like I expected. Those days in which I started to know him better, we got closer, and I can tell that maybe the first impression of him won't make you feel comfortable, but if they think he's cocky, they're completely wrong and out of their minds. If they could only had the opportunity to know him well, they wouldn’t be saying that type of things about him. Every time I go back to the moment when I met him, it always crosses my mind the question: “What if I never had the chance to know him well?" I'm so glad I get the opportunity to know him because probably we wouldn’t talk to each other now a days.

He’s now very close to me, he is always there. I always say he is the brother my parents forgot to give me, because it's awesome how we not only interact with each other, but protect one another just like family. We give everything that is in our hands to see us happy or just to smile for a while. We share real feeling, we're just ourselves and we don’t have the need to fake what we are when we are together. Now that I know him I can say he is tall boy with an amazing personality. He has good intentions, he's lovely, with a big heart, and a very good friend. He stays positive and active all the time. Gabriel is always making jokes, sometimes sleeping, and some others, eating. He likes to listen to music very often and going to the gym. Most of the times, we hang out and have a good time. When we are together, there is no laughter, smile, joke, or hug missed. We always tell the truth, don’t keep the record of wrongs, we don’t get easily angry with the other. We don't fight, and when we do it it’s because of a very good reason. We want the best for each other and trust one another with no excuses and with the eyes closed. After all, I learned that whatever people say or argue about, doesn't mean that you are going to feel the same way or think alike. We all have different opinions and way of thinking too. We just have to give others a chance and don’t care about what others say. We can judge people for what they seem or look like, but the real thing is to know them for what they are, and what they're made of. "You can see a beautiful face, but not all beautiful faces have beautiful hearts..."

Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest.. It's about who came, and never left you.

I was remembering last night, the days with my best friend Mercedes Cossich. When I first met her, I realized that she was the kind of girl who is shy, quiet and well educated with really good manners. I don’t remember how, why, or when I started talking to her, but what I can say is that the moment I talked to her for first time, I kind of predict we were going to become good friends. Time passed by and our friendship became so strong, that she wasn’t only a best friend but a real sister. She helped me throughout my hard times, and was always, without exceptions, there for me. Through good and bad times, we were always beside each other bringing support. She’s definately a friend I will never forget. Meches, as we use to call her, is now living in the United States. Mercedes is around my height, a little bit smaller. She is petit. Meches has also black and smooth hair; dark, brown eyes; a pretty, little, whitened-teeth smile; and tanned skin.

Within time, I realized that my first impression was totally different as I've gotten to know her. She is adventurous, mischievous, sometimes a little bit serious. She is also very curious, happy, and sincere. Meches is the kind of girl who will give you honest opinions and you will realize that at the same time, she has an outgoing, loving, and friendly personality. I can say she is careless many times, with a great sense of humor, flirty, cheerfully, understanding, a little bit moody, trustworthy, and expressive. She isn’t the type of girl that makes you ugly faces just because she doesn’t like you. That's exactly when she becomes firm and acts with a strong point of view, because knowing her... I know she doesn't backstab people. She never gives up, she's a very positive person and if she wants something, she fights for it and therefore, gets it no matter what the circumstances are.

No one will ever replace her because I have found no one like her since she's gone. Mercedes is my little sister, as I've told her in last oportunities, I have felt always like taking care of her. I don't want anything to happen to her, because I know that person wouldn't like me mad. She’s always looking for adventure. Escaping from home at night wouldn't be a surprise for me, or trying new stuff. Making new friends, going to parties, taking pictures of everything, making mischief, making me laugh, disobeying, breaking rules, and finding the best of anything is what she's the best at. Me with her, had many inside jokes that no one could ever understand. We were gawffing most of the time. We've been through many moments together, though not always good or impressive, we always made them funny and getting special memories. We always had fun together and never missed a laughter or a secret. I can say I know every single detail about her, I know her so well, that I know when she lies, her expressions, when she is happy, frustrated, angry, and so on. We always helped each other with school works, and life issues. We are as close as sisters, even though she is not in Guatemala, and we are not always talking.We get the power to communicate each other, not only with words, but with the sights. We always think alike and know what the other one is thinking about. I guess I'm blessed for having her in my life and in a lot of my memories. Everyone can say they have good friends they can count on in bad times, but I have the best one of them all. It's hard to find someone with such a big heart as hers.

As I was telling before, last night I was remembering a good memory that we got through together. We were at a friend's house, doing school work. That day, we had a big party but we did not have permission to go, so we stayed late at night eating, listening to music, telling secrets, and getting our work done. We ate so many candies, we got super electric and at about 7:00 p.m., we went to our friend's bedroom trying to dry a wheel paint. We put the music louder and started dancing like fools, imitating and making funny faces, and laughing. We came up with the idea of recording what we did, and then replay it and see us. Our friend, who was with us at that exact time, was drying the wheel with the dryer. We started recording, but we were so electric that not only danced, but also jumped, and didn’t stay in a place. Meches dancing and shaking her hair wildly, went with our friend with the dryer, and she accidentally moved his arm and his hair got stuck with the dryer. It smelled awful and no one had realized it was the hair, until Meches attempted to move and saw it was stucked. Tiny pieces of hair flew out around the room and we turned off the dryer. Everybody started to laugh uncontrollably. Meches' hair spreaded out all across the room on the ground, with a bad odor. A memory out of thousand was recorded in a cellphone. We got together to watch the videos and look at our funny faces, jumping around and getting stucked. That really caused that everybody laughed. After that, we realized she had a hole in her hair, and it seemed as meches had a bad hair cut. When went to school, many asked her if she had cut her hair. Bad luck to her. She had always this sight of "what a night it was..."